Controlling Men – Date Wars Part 3
This isn’t a ‘how to’ guide on controlling men, it’s a post on men who like to control. This is probably the most important of the four part series dealing with B*. Honestly readers, if you have skipped the rest of the series so far, read this one. The thing that worries me the most about the examples below is the fact that only one friend in my life picked up on these as signs of a controlling, potentially abusive arsehat. It’s one thing to see these examples as behaviour you don’t want in a boyfriend, it’s another to accurately identify it like that. And I want everyone to be able to accurately identify the warning signals as early on as possible, to minimise the risk to themselves when dating. My friends who didn’t pick up on this shit? I will be demanding full disclosure from them about all dates they go on in future. You cannot miss these signs before it’s too late.
If only one of these actually flashed up before your eyes...
Credit where it’s due
SMH did something I never thought would happen: called rape, rape.
Here is an example of an article written properly. They call it rape. They call it sexual assault. They don’t blame the victim. They do mention she was unconscious from drinking alcohol, but I can’t sense the disapproval.
On another note, this is exactly what I was talking about in my previous post. (and in my next one once I’ve finished editing the notepad file and actually upload it!) How am I meant to comfortably go on my date tonight knowing that shit like this happens all the time? No wonder I sometimes think I hate men.
smh gets it VERY wrong
Dear Reporters at smh (specifically, Chris Johnston and his editors, but y’all can feel free to pay attention),
When you are reporting on the rape of a child that spanned four years of her life, starting at age 14, it is NOT, under any circumstances whatsoever, ok to report it as a ‘sexual relationship’.
It is rape. It is pedophilia. It is a horrible disgusting thing that should never have been done to somebody, let alone perpetrated by someone in a position of care over the child.
And no, I don’t care if you were merely reporting what the school friends told you. Still not appropriate. It’s not a consenting sexual relationship between two adults. (Also, given that you didn’t use quote marks around the phrase, you can’t claim you’re just reporting a straight quote).
Get your act together smh. This is unacceptable and disappointing.
Sincerely pissed off,
Whyimbitter.
Families and Funerals
It’s been a long couple of weeks for me. The funeral was a week ago, and was extremely hard. Which is a stupid thing to say because funerals aren’t actually meant to be easy are they? My mum was at her most inappropriate and even managed to get into an argument with my widowed uncle’s neighbour over seating. She also brought up my upcoming trip to Germany loudly to discuss how jealous my cousins are. Totally not the time mother.
I also found out that one of my cousins hit his wife. Apparently he was drunk and trying to leave the house to go to a friends place (where he would be doing drugs) and she grabbed him to stop him and he reached out and ‘accidently’ smacked her. They have a two month old together. I’m not sure what I can do about this. I’m trying to spend more time with his wife so that she’s not isolated and alone, but if she wants to write it off as a drunken accident and won’t listen to anything else I’m not sure what else I can do. If I push too hard she’ll stop talking to me and have less support next time.
Funerals are like big circus’. The amount of money it costs to put someone into a box and cover them in dirt is ridiculous. And it’s very hard to argue with grieving family members over the price of the casket they pick out. And then there were the arguements over which photos to use, which songs to play etc etc.
It’s all just too much and I’m glad to put the worst of it behind me for now. Of course my family still need support so I’m not totally out of the woods yet.
Off Our Pedestals again
Go here.
ilyka is amazing. That post should be required reading for everyone.
To my very small readership – go there.
My Name Is Luca
This song came on the radio the other day. I think it’s the first time I’ve heard it since my ‘awakening’, and it chilled me. I used to love this song, now I’m not so sure I could listen to it anymore.
Most songs I’ve stopped listening to are because they’re deeply misogynist. This one just chills me.
“And they only hit until you cry
After that you don’t ask why
You just don’t argue anymore”
Knowing that stuff like this isn’t creative license is why I’m bitter.
