Nigel woes return with a bang

August 27, 2008 at 2:50 am (Giant Babies, Nigel, personal)

I knew that posting anything good about my relationship would backfire.  Specifically that tempting fate by writing how good he’s been lately would be my undoing.  How absolutely right I was.

Yesterday (Tuesday) was meant to be the first day of a week and a half of forced annual leave for him.  The shop he works in is closed for renovations for that period and so he gets a break.  Except that this morning he had to go into work to do something with the stock that apparently the owner/manager didn’t want to interupt HIS holidays for. 

When I got home from work – via train and taxi because someone forgot to pick me up – he was asleep.  He had once again not done the grocery shopping, folded the clean washing or done the ironing.  These things have been waiting since Sunday for him to do, and he hasn’t done them yet.  The whole reason I had to spend the night being talked down to by manly tech dudes who clearly know more than I do about computers is because it’s another thing on his to do list he didn’t do while I was at work.  Then I noticed the number of missed calls on his phone was 3.  I had called him more than three times during the course of the day.  So clearly he had been awake at some point during the day, he just couldn’t be bothered answering/returning my calls or completeing any of the housework items.  I might add that there’s a massive pile of dirty dishes in the kitchen, and the room in general is in disarray.  Neither of these things were on his ‘to-do list’ but it’s amazing how quickly they would have been done if it was MY day off. 

In fact, on my days off, he gives me crap if I’m still in bed past 9am.  Nevermind that I stay up til about 3am trying to get as much done as possible whenever I can.  In fact tonight after work I got more done than he did all day.

And all of this from the guy who harrasses me every time the cleaners come because he doesn’t think we need them.  And why would he think we need cleaners??  HE wouldn’t have to pick up the slack left by getting rid of the cleaners.

The quicker I get out the door, the less I’m going to need the anti depressants my doctor wants to give me.

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Internet woes.

August 27, 2008 at 2:43 am (arsehats, computers) (, )

My internet at home is no longer working.  This sucks.  The stupid macho tech guys that I rang to help me fix it were worse than useless.  First, I had to go through not just a voice menu, but a voice troubleshooting guide.  It was so bad and basic it made me cry.  Finally I gave up and said ‘consultant’ to indicate they needed to put a real human being through as soon as possible.  And then they did and I wished they hadn’t.  A smarmy arsed male came on the line and asked if I was suing a router to connect.  As it so happens I am, but I’m computer literate enough to know that it’s NOT the router currently causing the problem.  They don’t care.  He told me that I need to connect the modem directly to a computer or they couldn’t help me.  I tried to explain that this would take longer, and that it doesn’t perform as well on our computers when we do it that.  Mr Man advised that what I was saying doesn’t make sense as computers perform better and the connection would be faster connected directly to my computer.  I hung up on him and went to work.

When I got home, I rang and got a different male on the phone.  I explained to him it was not the router that was causing the problem and that if he insisted on connecting the modem directly to the computer, he would need to talk me through the connection process as neither of our computers are already set up and it’s more complicated than just plugging it in. Dude asked me exactly which lights WERE lit up on my modem.  I told him AGAIN which ones they were and he replied with “well it’s not the router then”  NO SHIT SHERLOCK.  So after asking me AGAIN if I’ve reset the modem, checked all the plugs etc, he said he can’t fix it and he needs to send someone out.

Can you believe it???  Colour me annoyed.

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Grey’s Anatomy – Post the first

August 26, 2008 at 5:00 am (feminism, tv shows)

I recently rewatched the first three episodes of this show, and wow did they ever Get It back then.  There are a few things overall I have problems with, but mostly it was pretty damn excellent.  So, the problems:

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Families and Funerals

August 25, 2008 at 1:59 am (abuse, personal) (, )

It’s been a long couple of weeks for me. The funeral was a week ago, and was extremely hard. Which is a stupid thing to say because funerals aren’t actually meant to be easy are they? My mum was at her most inappropriate and even managed to get into an argument with my widowed uncle’s neighbour over seating. She also brought up my upcoming trip to Germany loudly to discuss how jealous my cousins are. Totally not the time mother.

I also found out that one of my cousins hit his wife. Apparently he was drunk and trying to leave the house to go to a friends place (where he would be doing drugs) and she grabbed him to stop him and he reached out and ‘accidently’ smacked her. They have a two month old together.  I’m not sure what I can do about this.  I’m trying to spend more time with his wife so that she’s not isolated and alone, but if she wants to write it off as a drunken accident and won’t listen to anything else I’m not sure what else I can do.  If I push too hard she’ll stop talking to me and have less support next time.

Funerals are like big circus’.  The amount of money it costs to put someone into a box and cover them in dirt is ridiculous.  And it’s very hard to argue with grieving family members over the price of the casket they pick out.  And then there were the arguements over which photos to use, which songs to play etc etc.

It’s all just too much and I’m glad to put the worst of it behind me for now.  Of course my family still need support so I’m not totally out of the woods yet.

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Pretty and Peaceful

August 18, 2008 at 12:04 pm (Uncategorized) ()

Jim Warren’s pictures make me happy. I also feel kind of peaceful whilst looking at them. The only reservation I have is that he seems to draw blonde women/girls more than males. Slightly disturbing in context of the patriarchy, but it’s possible it’s innocent. I just highly doubt it.

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Trapped in a relationship

August 18, 2008 at 11:48 am (arsehats, bullying, feminism, men hate you) (, , )

This morning as I drove to work, the tape connected to my mp3 player stopped working again and forced me to listen to the hell that is morning radio. Today they were talking about pre nups and desperately trying to get someone who had one to call in.*

One lady rang in and said that her pregnant daughter had signed a contract to forfeit all rights on the child if the relationship ends. There are so many horrible aspects to this I’m not sure I know where to start. Things have gone sour in said relationship and that poor woman is now stuck with this horrible man because she signed this stupid contract. I’m not sure why she signed it, but to question that falls too far into the ‘victim-blaming’ category so lets not go there.

And please note the wording I’ve used up there. It’s not if she leaves the guy, it’s if the relationship ends. So he can choose to walk away and keep the child at any point, but she is forever stuck with him if she wants access to her own child. THE ONE INSIDE HER. Obviously it won’t be inside her when this becomes a bigger issue, but the point is she’s carrying it for nine freaking months. She’s the one who has to put the most effort into bringing this child into the world and looking after it for at least the first year. It’s arguable who will put the effort in after that, but since he can’t breastfeed, you can guarantee she’ll be doing the work at first.

Does this horrify and anger the rest of you? I wish I knew more details about her so I could help her in whatever way possible.

*Sidenote: they kept saying that there was the celebrity world and the “real” world. Are we all that disconnected? I know they’re talking in metaphors and whatever, but still. Celebrities are real. They live in the real world. It’s a very different environment to where we all live, but it’s still real.

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Emails

August 12, 2008 at 12:45 pm (arsehats, emails, feminism, idiots, men hate you) (, , )

Today I received an email from my brother that proved once and for all what a humorless feminist I am.

Below the fold and image heavy

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When will the arsehats at work stop talking?

August 12, 2008 at 12:07 pm (arsehats, feminism, Giant Babies, idiots, male privilege, office, overheard conversations) (, , , )

Another overheard conversation.

Apparently there’s been a university study that has proven that the group most discriminated against in Australia is middle aged Anglo Saxon males with a mortgage.

Yes folks, apparently this poor privileged group is so trodden upon they are now the most discriminated in the country. Before I interrupted this delightful and intelligent conversation I heard the words ‘government benefits’. Now IF the study was looking for the group that receives the least amount of welfare money from the government, I’m not surprised it found this one. It’s highly possible that’s what the study was, and that the shock jocks simply turned the story into one about discrimination.

When I interrupted the conversation I asked for a link to the study. At this point teammate B* held his hands up and said “don’t shoot the messenger” with a stupid smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes and tried to get back to work, so he followed it up with “have you noticed I haven’t called you ‘babe’ or ‘sweetheart’ in a while?” Because that accomplishment its so deserving of cookies.

Replying that no, actually, I hadn’t noticed as I’ve been busy dealing with the death of a family member produced some satisfaction from the look on his face.

Arsehats.

*profile to come. Same teammate who started the ‘female sports’ conversation.

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Overload

August 12, 2008 at 11:49 am (Uncategorized) ()

I am feeling so overwhelmed and overburdened at the moment it feels like I’m going to explode. And then one more thing will happen and I want to curl up under my blankets and never move and I can’t and it’s becoming so ridiculously hard to just keep going.

And it’s so hard to convince myself do anything at all. When people send me messages on msn, it makes me crazy. When I get another email, or another comment or even when I’m hungry and need to get up and make dinner. Or just GET dinner after nigel has made it, I can’t do it. It add to the stress in such an unproportional way that I can’t even describe it properly here.

I just need everything to stop for awhile.

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Bad News

August 8, 2008 at 12:24 am (personal, Uncategorized) (, )

My auntie died last night. They found her body under a tree in a park. Wednesday night she threatened to kill herself and walked out of her house. They found her body yesterday afternoon. When I first heard about her walking out, I rolled my eyes and went back to work. She has been threatening to kill herself for about ten years now, and has attempted it a few times, but only when someone was due home so she could be found.

We all wrote this off as attention seeking behaviour. And of course it was. You don’t do this to yourself if you don’t want help.  But that doesn’t mean we should have ignored her, or that she was seeking attention in the same way a toddler throwing a tantrum is seeking attention.  Why were we so dismissive of her?  Where was our compassion and empathy and supportiveness when we were all needed?

She had five kids and four grandkids, one of whom was born about a month ago. 

I had a lot more I was going to write on this last night, but I just can’t do it right now.  I will follow up with a point at a later date.

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