I recently had a conversation with Nigel’s older sister about being childfree. This headed quite swiftly into the territory of tubal ligation as I pointed out that women under a certain age without children are not able to get this done easily. She seemed to think it was perfectly ok for this to be the case as she has had many friends who were anti children when young, but grew out of it as they got older. She did freely admit that none of these friends were so anti having kids that they would have gotten the tubal ligation, but clearly this was not the point in her mind.
After awhile of arguing about this, Nigel’s mum jumped in to tell me how wrong I am. I tried to gracefully bow out of the argument many times by stating that they will never be able to convince me I shouldn’t have full rights to my body and what I do to it, but they continued to try and argue with me.
A few of their arguments summed up:
1) there are other options available so it’s not necessary
2) people will regret it later in life
3) doctors are just trying to protect us by not allowing it
argument one doesn’t surprise me coming from his older sister as she’s twenty five (ish) and never had sex, nor has she ever been assaulted. She is a big victim blamer when it comes to rape and therefore probably doesn’t consider the possibility that it could happen to her one day.
In terms of the regret/protection argument, no. No one else needs to protect me. Thisi s my body and my right. If I happen to change my mind at a later date, that’s my cross to bear and everyone else can just back out of it. And I don’t want ANYONE else banning me from doing something for my own protection. Women are not children. We do not need some higher authority looking out for us for our own good. We just need to be left the fuck alone.
His mum brought up people who apparently have a sex change operation and then sue the doctors as they didn’t have enough counselling to make the decision. There was no evidence used to support this argument. Just the idea that there are such people out there and that they are the reason doctors won’t engage in unnecessary surgeries.
These people make it hard for me to have any hope for women as a whole.