I just wanted a damn cup of coffee

February 17, 2009 at 9:59 pm (arsehats, ethical buying choices, feminism, idiots, men hate you)

A problem with changing jobs is not knowing where the good coffee is.  I drink, on average, three cups per day, so it’s quite important to me to know where to buy a decent cup of coffee.  Service is important too; I refuse to pay for anything at a store where they’re rude.

Today I found a store close to my new work where they sell a brand of coffee I particularly like, and are quite nice people too.  Yay, bonus, score etc etc right?  Wrong.  I was oh so very wrong.

The button on my pants was loose this morning, but I figured it would hold out.  I was wrong and it came off in the cafe when I was buying the afternoon round of coffees (you never get away with just buying yourself a cup in an office).  So I attempted to discreetly and quickly redo the clip and zipper to stop the pants falling down altogether, and one of the guys serving saw it.  And hey, what better way to speed up a boring day making people coffee than by embarrassing some poor young woman when her pants break?  So he told me not to take my pants off, and his colleague, who looked up and noticed too told me “You’ve already paid us, you don’t need to take your pants off”.

Hardy. ha. ha.

Get it?  I’m a woman, therefore I must want to use my vagina to trade for goods and/or services.  What do I have that’s more valuable?  And hey, I was a woman dressed professionally in an area with many offices and therefore office workers.  How DARE I step outside of the domains considered appropriate for a woman?  I needed to be put back in my place as soon as possible, so how lucky that these two stars were there to do it for me?  Many times in my life I’ve seen men with their zippers undone and I’ve NEVER heard ANYONE make a comment like that to them.

I’m so fucking sick of everything I do being brought back to my vagina.  From this point on, I will ignore anyone who chooses to reduce me to that level.  I don’t care how close friends we are or what I need from you, if you dare to treat me that way, you will no longer be part of my life.  I’m done putting up with this shit.

Now to find myself a good cup of coffee with good service in close enough walking distance to be feasible.  *sighs*



  1. Jo said,

    Ass. Hats.

    May you find feminist friendly, delicious coffee within a comfortable walk.

    • whyimbitter said,

      hehe and that will forever be my new way of wishing people well.

      Also it will probably be my fb status once feminist Thursday is over (credited of course)

  2. The Tenth Down Under Feminists’ Carnival « Ideologically Impure said,

    […] phone conversations with people who don’t think women can be farmers. WhyI’mbitter says I just wanted a damn cup of coffee – pity she couldn’t get it without some hilarious sexual harassment from the […]

  3. lilacsigil said,

    (Via the Down Under Feminists’ Carnival)

    Here’s a nice reversal for you – in my very small town, the cafe owner was a sleazy bastard, and many women would only go in when his wife was working. One day the owner of the newsagency asked for some sugar for her coffee and he put it into the breast pocket of her shirt, said “There you go love” and patted her breast, in front of other customers. She and the other customers told every woman in town, the people of my town (male and female) stopped going to the cafe en masse, and they were out of business in six months. The new owners are annoying and smoke a lot, but they’re not sleazy.

  4. whyimbitter said,

    I love that story. For the ending, not the harassment. It’s strengthened my commitment to continue avoiding companies that engage in misogynistic practices. yay.

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