Nigel and I had a very long, open discussion tonight and have finally faced up to the mess that is our relationship.
Officially we’re calling it a break, and we’ll decide at the end of the break (we haven’t set a limit yet, but most likely 6 weeks) what we want to do from here.
Despite everything, I’m not feeling great right now. I’m also desperately trying to find someone that I can call up and meet for coffee and sit down and talk about it with. Most of my friends that know enough background details on this don’t live in the same country as me, and the few that are have reasons for not being available.
Last night I was thinking about how many friends I have and how great that feels etc etc. Tonight I’m just staring at my phone wondering what the hell to do. I think mostly I’d be able to handle this problem if I could curl up under my blankets for a week, but unfortunately I have to go to work and smile and be cheery and not let it show at all. I don’t know if I’m good enough to pull that off, but I have to be.
I’m not sure if this means increased or decreased posts from here on out, but I’m sure it will mean something.