I am a person who likes debate. I always have and I hope I always will because I strive on it. In my life I’ve only ever met one other person who could argue for as long as me without giving up or taking it personally*. Although, lately I’ve stopped doing it as often or as passionately as I used to. Maybe it’s part of having a job where I can effectively debate people all day.**
And when I see arse tiaras arguing about things they know nothing about, especially but not limited to feminism, and using the same damn arguments that I’ve read too many times before (that didn’t make any damn sense the first time around) I just don’t care enough to argue the point. I don’t care what they think, I don’t care how wrong they are and it’s not going to be my problem to wake them up gently. If they refuse to see me like a human being, I will not waste my freaking time seeing them as one.
These are people who Don’t Get It (and Most Likely Never Will). Why waste my time? A few of them have come out of the woodwork lately on my friend’s facebook pages and I’ve watched other radical feminists alternate between reasoning with them and hammering the point home. I can’t help but look and think ‘why bother?’
I’m happy to argue here on my blog, or on my forums and help raise consciousness of people who actively want their consciousness raised. But fuck wasting my time and breath and energy on people who Don’t Get It (and Most Likely Never Will). I refuse to get worked up over these dickheads. Especially when they think it’s fun, or a joke, or any other inane shit they can say. (see here) It’s not fun to me and it never will be.
But, there are people I write off quite quickly as people who Don’t Get It (and Most Likely Never Will) and it turns out, they’re not. Some are quite a bit more enlightened than most people in my life, and I should have given them a chance before writing them off. Others are not exactly enlightened yet, but are open to listening and learning (and shutting the fuck up). So I guess I’m doing them a disservice by automatically writing them off. I also guess I’m not helping the cause by turning away potential allies.
What are some definite good signs and what are some definite bad signs? Anyone hitting a bingo on either card is out of the running immediately, for good reason. Or is a better strategy to work on being tactful and tolerant for a long enough period til I find out?
Just for the record, the idea that I need to be tactful and tolerant in case the male I’m talking to isn’t a total arse tiara is so seriously annoying to me I think I may bang my head against the wall just to make myself feel better.
*I wonder if you will figure out it’s you. And I wonder if others will think it’s them when it’s not. Amazing the fun I can have from this side of the thought process.
**Of course this has lessened a lot in my new job – more on that later.