Ok, it story time and I have two stories to tell you all tonight. With a (predictable) twist at the end of them 🙂
This is terribly cliched, but I couldn’t resist a post on the terms that are leading people here. It’s fascinating!*
So there’s a lot of search terms involving words like ‘hormones’ ‘birth control’ and ‘hair’ and any combination thereof. Those haven’t slowed down much, even with my lack of posts on the subject recently. It’s amazing how little information there must be out there if people are coming here for it. That worries me.
Interestingly, someone got here by searching for ‘anti-children’. I do hate kids, but I didn’t think I’d written that anywhere here? Maybe my attitude just comes through in what I say. Other searches in the random category: “beer bottle in mouth”, “guys hate shopping”, “beautiful forum” and “defensive response” — the last one was a result from before my recent post on my defensive responses, which is the random part.
The first t-shirt post gained a lot of views by people who were clearly looking for that exact tshirt, for whatever reason. Various combinations of “overheard conversations” and “office” repeated themselves a few times, and I’m tempted to post a few more randomly overheard conversations. I know personally I love reading snippets of these on other people’s blogs, so maybe I’m not as random and weird as I thought I was? Also, have had people searching “radical feminism theory” and ending up here – not good given I don’t discuss it at all. Maybe I should throw up a few links to direct them onwards to more intelligent blogs? I’d hate someone to miss out on an education because I’m not particularly into writing about the theory heavy stuff!
And the worrying searches: the number of people searching on some variation of “trapped in a relationship”, “controlling men”, and even one that said “kiss me if i did what he wanted controll” concerns me. I hope these are search terms of people with a vague passing interest in the topic. My imaginary happy place does not need to know that people out there are facing these problems for real. My practical side has a few link round up posts planned to direct the readers with real problems on to sources that can actually help them.
The final term of interest, and my personal favourite, was “man hate”. You’re damn straight I have some man hate going on. They make me bitter.
T-Shirts That Prove Men Hate You
Featured in part 2 is a shirt that I have not actually personally seen in real life. Which is lucky, for if I ever did see a guy wearing this, I would probably smack him. Hard. And then tell him to tell his face to stop banging into my hand. (makes more sense after the jump, I swear)
I am an incredibly defensive person. The minute I feel like something might be slightly off, my defense come out and I shut down and I pull away.
I’ve noticed it more and more lately, but I’m not really sure what to do about it, if anything. So excuse this navel gazing excuse for a post, but I need space to work it all out. And this is, after all, my space to work shit out if I so choose 🙂
The majority of my posts lately have been on dating. This can make for a very boring blog to those of you who are not particularly interested in the hetero normative exploits of a twenty two year old dater. Sorry about that.
Once I get this stuff sorted out in my head, and once my life slows down a bit*, I will return to blogging about a diverse range of topics. Until then, feel free to offer comments on how bored you are. It may just motivate me to uncover some new areas to blog about.
Also, the first of the new password protected posts is up. If you request the password in comments I will send it to you in an email. I know it’s annoying, but there are some things people in my life don’t need to read about. And current workmates who read this definitely don’t need to see what’s in that first protected post. As you will realise once the rest of you read it.
*HA! I’ve been saying this for almost a year now…
So, I haven’t posted in a bit, but you were all warned beforehand, so I don’t feel guilty about that. But, there are other things I’ve been feeling guilty about and have avoided posting because I know what the response will be.
Well, deep breath and here goes nothing
EN’s grandmother died today. I was incredibly close to her during our time together, and I was at the hospital to say goodbye to her today. I left the hospital for twenty minutes as I felt it was more important to feed my face than to be by her side. She stopped breathing while I was out buying a kebab.
The only way for me to function is to not think about what happened. I have very little to remember her by around my house, most of the memories, or memory triggering items, are at EN’s house. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. Right now everything just hurts and I was not in a place where I could sufficiently deal with my life as it was. This has knocked me out (metaphorically).
I know it’s not about me, she wasn’t my relative. But she felt like she was. And I feel like my whole world has been turned about, and I hate it and I can’t cope with it.
So if there’s no posting for awhile? that’s why. and if there’s heaps of posts for awhile? It’s because I need to not think about how this amazing, wonderful lady is no longer part of my life, and never will be again.
So here we all are for, hopefully, the final instalment about my adventures with B. I do hope any future dates I go on do not provide this much blog fodder, no matter how entertaining they’ve been for the rest of you.
Onwards to the misogyny and my wrap up at the end.