Tales From the Frontline – My Dating Experiences

June 9, 2009 at 8:42 pm (Dating, Giant Babies, idiots, personal)

Evening, readers.  Starting a new series (because I’ve been so awesome about updating my previous ones…) on my dating experiences.  I figure the only way to stay sane at this point is to blog about this crap and then stop thinking about it.  The dating war – I’m going there so you don’t have to.

The first few posts will be about B.  B and I have had three dates in the last four days.  Thursday, Saturday and Sunday nights.  Slightly excessive, and not at all intelligent.  Here’s hoping I’m smart enough not to see him again, even if he’s smarter than me*

So, B has quite a sense of humor, and loves making jokes.  He made quite a few of them, in fact, ranging topic from me being a bad kisser, to me being fat, to to me being easy etc etc**.  I’m sure you can all fill in the blanks because, let’s face it, we’ve all known dicks like this in the past.  A close friend of mine has a saying “It’s only a joke if both people are laughing”.  I was most definitely *not* laughing at any of these.  I also wasn’t kicking his arse, or walking away.  I can’t say why I wasn’t, I don’t normally take shit from anyone, let alone some stranger that I don’t care about at all.

On the first date I was trying to explain something, and happened to mention that I have a minor case of OCD.  B didn’t know what this was, so he looked it up before Saturday and then asked me many questions about it when we were together.  Following this, he told me that I don’t have it.  A quick google search, a couple of evasive, non committal answers from me, and he’s able to instantly diagnose me as not having it.  Awesome genius this one, isn’t he?  I wish my doctors could diagnose this quickly.  It took them much longer to figure out I do have it.

I was also lucky enough to have his Fresh! Manly! Wisdom! on the subject of looks and ageing.  All you readers out there are now lucky enough to get this wisdom without having to actually sit through a night with this jerk.  Apparently, dear readers, women start to lose their looks at the age of 22, whereas men start to improve at this point.  So women need, yes that’s right he actually classes this as a need, to start wearing make up at that age because they’re losing their good looks.  Also, not shaving your legs?  Totally gross and it’s offensive to not do so before going to a guy’s house for a date.  Aren’t you all lucky I shared?

So one final thing before I head off to do my final two undergrad assignments ever (this is assuming I pass), does anyone here think mentioning your mother on a first date is a particularly intelligent move?  Apparently, B does because he did so multiple times.  At one point he even told me that I sound like his mother.  Just what every 22 year old wants to hear on a first date…  Honestly, I should have run away at that point and not looked back.

Unfortunately for me, there are still at least three more posts worth of stuff on this guy.  So, stay tuned and when I get sick of assignmenting, will post another update.

Should have seen one of these a few times throughout the night...

Should have seen one of these a few times throughout the night...


*An actual quote.  From a date.  ARGH
** For the record, not that I’m saying it to justify *anything* but I did not sleep with him.  So this comment wasn’t coming from me ‘giving it up’ too soon or anything.  Just because he’s a dick.



  1. roughseasinthemed said,

    Love it. Also v glad I am NOT in the dating scene anymore. What an arse. An abusive one too. As you say, to be avoided.

  2. whyimbitter said,

    roughseas, I didn’t mention this in chat but you are the *only* person I’ve told most of this story to that actually picked up on the warning signs of abuse. I’m now terrified for all of my friends when they start dating again.

  3. Jezebella said,

    Totally – if someone *starts out* insulting you, trying to tear down your self-esteem, it’s only going to get worse. From verbal abuse to more verbal abuse to emotional, physical – it’s not a far leap. Sounds like he’s read those stupid pick-up artist books where they tell dudes to do exactly that: try to find your weaknesses, push those buttons, exploit them. What an asshole.

  4. whyimbitter said,

    Hey Jez! *waves* didn’t know you were still reading. Have to say I actually thought specifically of you a few times on the dates thinking “Jez would not take this shit from a guy, what am I doing??”

    Maybe next time I’ll take those thoughts and turn them into an arse kicking before I walk out the door.

  5. Snk said,

    Fucking hell, he even made comments about age! The bloody cheek.

    • whyimbitter said,

      well you did warn me about dating older men Snk… 😉

  6. karrigan said,

    Wow. He actually told you you didn’t have OCD? What! An! Ass!
    Sounds like an advanced case of entitlement, exacerbated by smug manly wisdom.

  7. Jezebella said,

    *waves back!*

    Hon, the shit I took from men when I was your age, well, let’s not speak of it. Although I’m happy to serve as a warning sign re: what not to put up with. My not-putting-up-with-shit comes from being all middle-aged and sick of men’s shit. I think you are way ahead of the curve and shouldn’t beat yrself up about putting up with his shit for a few dates. It kind of takes a while for it to sink in when a dude who seems okay reveals himself to be a grade-a asshole. You’re like, really? Is he really being this big of an asshole? No, it’s just not possible. He seemed like a human being. WTF? Being confused makes it hard to act the way we think we should act.

    In conclusion: I am all in favor of a “what would jez do” policy regarding controlling and angry men. And free copies of “why does he do that” for every person inclined to date a male of the species.

    • whyimbitter said,

      I think along with the ‘what would jez (and Shabsy, and pt, and otter etc + real life friends) do’ policy there’s also a part of my brain that thinks about how people would react if I told them what was happening. So when a guy says something douchebaggy, I think of certain friends and what they would say if I repeated it. And the minute I start thinking ‘oh, I could never tell x about what he just said’ I know it’s time to get out. There’s a reason they react the way they do. Mostly it’s cause they love me 🙂

      And yeah ‘why does he do that’ has just moved significantly up my to read list

  8. For appearance’ sake | Clouds moving in said,

    […] for an excellent example of what I’m talking about – here is an example of exactly the expectation and objectification that I am talking about. Thanks […]

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