Evening, readers. Starting a new series (because I’ve been so awesome about updating my previous ones…) on my dating experiences. I figure the only way to stay sane at this point is to blog about this crap and then stop thinking about it. The dating war – I’m going there so you don’t have to.
The first few posts will be about B. B and I have had three dates in the last four days. Thursday, Saturday and Sunday nights. Slightly excessive, and not at all intelligent. Here’s hoping I’m smart enough not to see him again, even if he’s smarter than me*
So, B has quite a sense of humor, and loves making jokes. He made quite a few of them, in fact, ranging topic from me being a bad kisser, to me being fat, to to me being easy etc etc**. I’m sure you can all fill in the blanks because, let’s face it, we’ve all known dicks like this in the past. A close friend of mine has a saying “It’s only a joke if both people are laughing”. I was most definitely *not* laughing at any of these. I also wasn’t kicking his arse, or walking away. I can’t say why I wasn’t, I don’t normally take shit from anyone, let alone some stranger that I don’t care about at all.
On the first date I was trying to explain something, and happened to mention that I have a minor case of OCD. B didn’t know what this was, so he looked it up before Saturday and then asked me many questions about it when we were together. Following this, he told me that I don’t have it. A quick google search, a couple of evasive, non committal answers from me, and he’s able to instantly diagnose me as not having it. Awesome genius this one, isn’t he? I wish my doctors could diagnose this quickly. It took them much longer to figure out I do have it.
I was also lucky enough to have his Fresh! Manly! Wisdom! on the subject of looks and ageing. All you readers out there are now lucky enough to get this wisdom without having to actually sit through a night with this jerk. Apparently, dear readers, women start to lose their looks at the age of 22, whereas men start to improve at this point. So women need, yes that’s right he actually classes this as a need, to start wearing make up at that age because they’re losing their good looks. Also, not shaving your legs? Totally gross and it’s offensive to not do so before going to a guy’s house for a date. Aren’t you all lucky I shared?
So one final thing before I head off to do my final two undergrad assignments ever (this is assuming I pass), does anyone here think mentioning your mother on a first date is a particularly intelligent move? Apparently, B does because he did so multiple times. At one point he even told me that I sound like his mother. Just what every 22 year old wants to hear on a first date… Honestly, I should have run away at that point and not looked back.
Unfortunately for me, there are still at least three more posts worth of stuff on this guy. So, stay tuned and when I get sick of assignmenting, will post another update.
*An actual quote. From a date. ARGH
** For the record, not that I’m saying it to justify *anything* but I did not sleep with him. So this comment wasn’t coming from me ‘giving it up’ too soon or anything. Just because he’s a dick.