EN’s grandmother died today. I was incredibly close to her during our time together, and I was at the hospital to say goodbye to her today. I left the hospital for twenty minutes as I felt it was more important to feed my face than to be by her side. She stopped breathing while I was out buying a kebab.
The only way for me to function is to not think about what happened. I have very little to remember her by around my house, most of the memories, or memory triggering items, are at EN’s house. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. Right now everything just hurts and I was not in a place where I could sufficiently deal with my life as it was. This has knocked me out (metaphorically).
I know it’s not about me, she wasn’t my relative. But she felt like she was. And I feel like my whole world has been turned about, and I hate it and I can’t cope with it.
So if there’s no posting for awhile? that’s why. and if there’s heaps of posts for awhile? It’s because I need to not think about how this amazing, wonderful lady is no longer part of my life, and never will be again.