Rape is Always Rape, Actually

July 27, 2009 at 9:35 pm (arsehats, feminism, male privilege, men hate you, Rapists)

Wow. I mean, we all knew this kind of attitude existed – feminists have been calling people out for this shit for years.  Doesn’t mean I’d expect to see a Judge come out and say it.  On the other hand, at least with this crap so blatant and out in the open we have a better chance of fighting it.

From the article:

A JUDGE has questioned if a man who had sex with a drunken woman after she passed out should be “marked for the rest of his days as a rapist”

In short, yes.  Longer:  Ab-so-fucking-lutely.  Because he IS a rapist.  So yes, he should be marked as one.

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Over it.

July 27, 2009 at 2:00 pm (Dating, personal)

Last night coffeeguy and I went to a movie.  This date had been rescheduled three times at this point.  The first time he had to reschedule due to work, the second was my fault, also a work thing, and then we had plans for Sunday day and he was too hungover so it got moved to Sunday night.  By this point I was really ready to just say ‘forget it’, not out of anger or spite, just from being too tired/busy to care anymore.  But I didn’t and I went.

And the movie was hilarious*, and it was fun and relaxing to talk to him for the half hour beforehand and about ten minutes afterwards.  Sidenote follow up: I paid for both tickets to the movie, he bought me a bottle of water from the candy bar.  That should keep a certain reader happy.   But honestly, I’m so over dating.  I’m exhausted at this very moment because I’ve had five hours sleep and I’m at work.  I’m not going to be making any effort anymore.  If he follows up and asks me out again, and I happen to be free and interested in whatever activity he picks, maybe I’ll go.  But those are some big ifs right there.

There’s no one else in the line up**, and I’m more than happy to just be single without all the dating nonsense for awhile.  Should be a relaxing change for me, although my brother thinks it will only last a week.  Who knows?  All I know is, I’m over it.

Another interesting (to me) sidenote: the movie (‘Drag me to Hell’ for those interested) is about a bank officer who refuses a third extension on a loan.  This naturally led to conversations on debt collecting and our views are incredibly far out of sync.  Which is kind of a problem to me because it’s my job.  So there’s that too.

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*unintentionally given it was a horror film…

** yeah, that’s a great way to phrase it right there…

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Mini Post – Dating 7

July 21, 2009 at 9:38 pm (Dating, personal)

Not much to report tonight, but thought I’d post an update for those people avidly following my love life from their computer screens.

Sunday went well. I had a nice time (and won) and he didn’t piss me off or raise any red flags, so that’s always a bonus. He’s the type of guy I can be comfortable around, and I’m always relaxed and happy around him, so that’s a plus. Read the rest of this entry »

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Is It Worth It? An End to the Whole Saga

July 15, 2009 at 4:30 pm (arsehats, bullying, Dating, Giant Babies, men hate you, personal)

I cannot believe how complicated and petty this whole thing got.  When I look back on my first date with plateboy, I want to shake my younger self and tell her to just avoid it.  At all costs.  ARGH.

But anyway, I will blog the end of it, then shut the door on the whole sorry tale and learn my lessons for next time.  Although at this point it feels like the lesson is ‘men aren’t worth it’.

So after my last attempt to pick up my stuff ended in pettiness, I was fairly pissed off.  I managed to get hold of plateboy by calling from a private number and he once again pretended he hadn’t received any of my messages and that it was all a misunderstanding, except this time I said no.  I just wanted to organise to get my stuff back.  His phone cut out before anything could be organised and he was uncontactable for the rest of the weekend, and again ignored my messages.

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Equal Pay Anyone?

July 15, 2009 at 9:55 am (equal opportunity, feminism, male privilege)

Next time someone says feminism has gone too far, or that it’s no longer relevant, or whatever other bullshit they’re spouting these days, send them here.  Or indeed, next time someone asks me why I’m so bitter for someone so young…

Is it seriously 2009???  This is getting freaking ridiculous.

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Don’t Feed the Trolls

July 14, 2009 at 7:02 pm (arsehats, Dating, feminism, Giant Babies, men hate you, Rapists)

In some of my recent researching, I’ve stumbled across www.thefrisky.com and absolutely love it.  Not every single article is perfect, or stands up to feminist scrutiny, however overall it’s pretty damn awesome.

Now, I know it’s usually considered bad form to respond to a poster on a different site, but given the vile contents of these comments, I’m doing it anyway.

On a post about alternatives to intercourse, ‘Bat Leaper’ came out of the murky swamp where all mras and trolls like to spend their days and had this to say:

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Who pays?

July 14, 2009 at 3:10 pm (Dating, feminism, personal)

I’m finding way more conflicts with how I live my life and what I believe as a feminist now that I’m dating.  In a relationship, the compromises are less noticeable*, and seemed to occur less often.  In dating, I’m noticing compromises every single time I go out with, or even just talk to, a guy.  It’s irritating.

A lot of it is stemming from my attempts to be a less difficult and argumentative person in life in general.  I’ve always been highly argumentative, and ‘difficult’ has always been the one word to turn up in any description of me, by friends and foes alike.  So I’m trying to change that and I’ve been biting my tongue more often and attempting to let things slide and not get so worked up over every little thing.  It probably explains a lot about what went down with the plateboy situation.

Anyway, the specific point in this post is in regards to paying on dates.  In general, I hate people paying for me for anything.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a cup of coffee because I’m doing a coffee run for you, or if you’ve lent me $10 until I get to an atm.  If I’ve got the cash on me I won’t let you pay, if I don’t have it on me, I will pay you back the minute I’ve got it.

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Being Judged

July 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm (Dating, personal)

I’ve always been the type of person that other people judge.  I’m loud and noticeable and refuse to do what I’m bloody well told to, so it’s my own fault really.  The upside is, I’ve never really cared what anyone small minded enough to judge me thinks – I don’t have it in me to give a shit.

But that kind of all changed when I entered the dating scene.  And not because of what any potential* may think, but because of what my family and friends and other loved ones do think.  Most people in my life were not around last time I was dating, and the few that were, mostly had no idea what I was getting up to – for good reason!

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Nicknames

July 10, 2009 at 10:34 pm (personal)

Regular readers may have noticed my liberal use of nicknames throughout the recent posts.  I’m not talking about the parts where I use a letter to stand in for the rest of the name, or the feminist-inspired Nigel (now Ex-Nigel – EN).  I mean the plateboy, coffeeguy, needyboy etc etc.  This isn’t something I keep to the blog in the interests of protecting privacy, it’s actually how I (and now, all my friends) refer to these people.  There are a few other nicknames such as ‘stupidboy’ and ‘lovogirl’ and some more I’ll refrain from repeating due to how identifiable the people are from them.

I mentioned this in passing to someone as a cruel thing we do to these people, and was laughed at because the nicknames aren’t all that cruel.  But that’s not really the point, is it?  When you give someone a nickname, you give them an identity; and this can be done in loving and not so loving ways.  By calling somebody ‘stupidboy’ you are automatically reducing everything they say or do to their stupidity.  Any argument I have with stupidboy, he’s automatically in the wrong in the retelling.  I refer to him as ‘stupidboy’ and I’ve already set up the framework for you to agree with me and not him.  Plateboy’s entire interaction with me over the month he was part of my life is reduced to the fact that he kept my plate hostage.

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Tales from the Frontline 6: Smsing and Coffee

July 10, 2009 at 8:02 pm (Dating, personal)

Hello Dear Readers.  This is an exciting post for me.  It’s part 6 of the series, and it’s the first part that does not deal with plateboy at all.*  Yay! 🙂  It does in fact deal with needyboy and coffeeguy.  I’m condensing them into one post because I have a long list of draft posts that need to get sorted out.

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