Tales from the Frontline 6: Smsing and Coffee

July 10, 2009 at 8:02 pm (Dating, personal)

Hello Dear Readers.  This is an exciting post for me.  It’s part 6 of the series, and it’s the first part that does not deal with plateboy at all.*  Yay! 🙂  It does in fact deal with needyboy and coffeeguy.  I’m condensing them into one post because I have a long list of draft posts that need to get sorted out.

Needyboy started out sounding pretty cool.  We have a lot in common and he was easy to talk to and talkative enough that I didn’t have to carry the whole conversation – such as it was though emails and smses.  The smses are where the problem started.  Although, to be truthful, the problem was probably obvious from the start.  It took me awhile to reply to his first email because he sent it two days after EN’s grandmother passed away.  Three days after his first email, he sent me another one.  I’m sorry, but if you can’t wait a couple of days for a response without apologising and freaking out, there are some serious issues there, and you should get that shit explored in your own time.  But anyway, I didn’t see that at first and so we started emailing, and eventually swapped phone numbers.

The first sms came through last Thursday night, and they have not stopped since.  A week of constant messaging.  It’s a bit much, especially given we’ve yey to actually go out.  Today, after some more particularly horrid news and some more shit going down at work, I decided to cut it off for a day or so and take some space.  Three messages later and the boy is not getting the hint.  The third message did apologise for the number of messages, but that seems defeatist, no?

But honestly folks, if he’s this needy before we even have a first date, how on Earth would I cope with him later down the track?  Not going to happen.  And on top of that aspect, any relationship, be it friendship or other, is not good if it exists solely in the SMS world.  Seriously, it doesn’t work that way.  SMSes are great, and I’m an avid texter, but for a relationship of any sort to thrive, there needs to be more there than that.  There needs to be coffee or lunch or hanging out doing nothing, or anything else.  In my humble opinion…. hehe

Speaking of coffee… coffeeguy.  Note the lack of ‘boy’ in his title.  Coffeeguy and I have been out for… can you guess??… coffee… hehe.  We met for a cup of coffee last Saturday after work, and despite the splitting hangover, the three hours of sleep, and the very annoying long day of work on my side, and the 6am callout that last two hours for him, we ended up hanging around for two hours.  See, the beauty of coffee dates is that they can be short if necessary, but it turned out we had a lot to talk about.  He was funny and didn’t set off a single red flag in the two hours we were there, plus he managed to hold up his end of the conversation extraordinarily well.  So all good things overall.  We haven’t organised a second date, although we have spoken since, because he is currently sick and not making plans til he gets better.  Well, I think that’s why.  It’s possible he’s not interested and that’s the real reason, but I wouldn’t be too crushed at this point either way.  Coffeeguy hates text messaging, for the record 🙂

So some good and some bad in this batch, but it’s all an interesting experience if nothing else.  And before I can even begin to complain, I have to remember I’ve only been single for a few months and have already had quite a bit happen in that time.  I just don’t think I’m cut out for this dating thing at the moment, so I will very likely take a break once things cool off with coffeeguy (if, in fact, they haven’t already… who can tell?).  I originally just wanted a bit of practice so I wasn’t rusty at it, but it turns out you don’t really need all that much practice.  More than five years in a relationship has made it incredibly easy for me to approach guys – I managed to make new male friends the whole time I was with EN, and it’s kind of made me immune to the nerves thing.  Also, I have a pretty full, healthy (if somewhat plagued by bad happenings) life, so I don’t feel I need a boy to make things work out for me :).

———————————————————————

*Oh, except to give the update that I’ve finally managed to organise a time with him for me to get my stuff back.  More news as it develops!!

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