Is It Worth It? An End to the Whole Saga

July 15, 2009 at 4:30 pm (arsehats, bullying, Dating, Giant Babies, men hate you, personal)

I cannot believe how complicated and petty this whole thing got.  When I look back on my first date with plateboy, I want to shake my younger self and tell her to just avoid it.  At all costs.  ARGH.

But anyway, I will blog the end of it, then shut the door on the whole sorry tale and learn my lessons for next time.  Although at this point it feels like the lesson is ‘men aren’t worth it’.

So after my last attempt to pick up my stuff ended in pettiness, I was fairly pissed off.  I managed to get hold of plateboy by calling from a private number and he once again pretended he hadn’t received any of my messages and that it was all a misunderstanding, except this time I said no.  I just wanted to organise to get my stuff back.  His phone cut out before anything could be organised and he was uncontactable for the rest of the weekend, and again ignored my messages.

After three days of trying, I finally called him from a landline with the number showing and he picked up.  The fact that he was avoiding all private numbers and any calls from my mobile tells me how petty and immature he is.  Having to turn to tactics I normally employ for my debtors is not a good sign (for him).  Anyway, I managed to get him on the phone and I ignored all his attempts at talking about anything else and I made him pick a day and time for me to get my stuff.  I was giving him the chance to be an adult and to do this at a time convenient for him. 

He wasn’t home when I got there.

How friggin childish is this guy?  And why did I not have better sense than to see him so much? 

While I was standing outside the gates to his apartment, I was on the phone to my cousin trying to figure out what to do next.  Her partner heard the whole conversation and rang plateboy from his mobile to see if he could help.  He left him a voicemail basically telling him to stop fucking around and give me my stuff back.  When I got home, I’d had enough and took a different course.

As mentioned here, I have access to information.  Fortunately for the security of my job, his parents home number is available through the white pages, and he gave me his last name and their suburb, so no laws were broken.  And I rang his parents house, and I was very nice and didn’t tell them any information about what had happened, I merely left my name and work po box and requested he send the dvds back by Wednesday.

Today (Wednesday), after receiving nothing, I tried to ring him and after ignoring my call, I got this message from him:

“I find it funny how quickly you went from someone that might have been lucky enough for me to give the time of day to, to crazy stalker over a couple of dvd’s and maybe a pair of underwear? Lol. Your stuff is in the mail.  Not the underwear though.  I get a lot of girls through here and even though it’s largish, I don’t want to send it if it’s not yours.  Please don’t contact me again.”

The misogyny contained in that message is enough to knock you out with.  For the record, the underwear isn’t mine, and I highly doubt its existence.  He does not get as much action as he implies in that message, and he knows I know that.  So the entire message is designed to hurt me.  It didn’t, so fail on his part.

As for the rest of it?  I don’t give a shit.  I’m just going to be happy to get my dvds back.  And he’ll forever be plateboy, simply because he’s not giving that back.

My brother has said this is my fault because I knew he was bad from the start and I continued to go back.  Not sure if this is true, or victim blaming at its finest.  He did say some nice, supportive things also. 

To end this on a happy note: coffeeguy and I have a date set for Sunday, and I was fairly happy about that.  Now I have three and a half days to get over my bitterness and hatred of all things male in order to enjoy this date.  I refuse to let plateboy ruin the rest of my experiences, but I do find it hard to care about this whole dating thing after this bullshit.



  1. Hendo said,

    yay for date! enjoy it even if you call a halt on dating after that, I say 🙂

    I’m glad you don’t care about his passive aggressive message. ridiculous. it is simple courtesy to return people’s stuff! I love how some people will ignore you and ignore you over a simple thing, then when you have to resort to bigger actions to get their bloody attention, they blame YOU for being the psycho one apparently blowing things out of proportion. (am thinking of times when my ex did this to me).

    • whyimbitter said,

      I think his problem Hendo was that I stopped playing his game by his rules. I assessed the situation and stepped outside of it to get what I needed. People hate losing when they think they hold the winning hand 🙂

  2. Elisabeth Kay said,

    Wow. What a complete prick.

    I don’t think it’s your fault at all. You can’t tell if someone’s a total creep on the first date unless it’s blatantly obvious. And even so, you didn’t force him to keep your stuff.

    I seriously thnk you should give up the ‘plateboy’ moniker and put his real name. His full name. Heck, I’d post about him on but that’s just me.

    • whyimbitter said,

      I don’t want to put his full name on my site because I don’t want him to find the site if he googles himself. Which he probably will because he’s like that. Will definitely head over to that site though.

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