Memo to Fathers of the World

August 14, 2009 at 8:02 pm (Giant Babies, male privilege, overheard conversations)

Dear Fathers,

When you are looking after your kids, you are NOT baby sitting til your partner gets home.  THEY ARE YOUR KIDS.  Baby sitting is an activity engaged in by people who are not the primary caregivers.

No, seriously, listen to me.  If you are watching the kids and you see yourself as baby sitting, you have a BIG issue that needs to be solved.  As their father you should be one of the primary caregivers.  And you should see yourself that way.  And looking after them?  Shouldn’t be a temporary thing to give their mum a break, or time to do errands, or whatever other reason you have.

So, no more.  You are not baby sitters.  You are parents.



PS. I hate adding these damn things, but I seem to have a lot of anti feminists over here these days, so here goes:

If you’re a father that doesn’t see looking after the kids as baby sitting, this post is not directed at you.  Do not take offence, do not send me emails, I don’t care.

If you’re a person who has heard mothers use the same phrase and are about to get up in arms about this post being directed at fathers only, go start your own damn blog and direct something at those mothers.  This post (like 90% of the blog) is inspired by my personal experience and this is what I wanted to say.  And mothers cop enough shit off everyone to not get it in my space.



  1. sioneve said,

    And to fathers and everybody else who refers to a father taking care of his kids as “Mr Mom”: STOP IT! A father looking after his kids, is NOT being Mr Mom! He is being DAD…so just let him. Parenting is NOT a female perogative.

  2. godardsletterboxes said,

    I too have heard this use of babysitting and it makes me shudder. My partner also corrects it when people ask him if that is what he is doing. Looking after your own kids is definitely not babysitting. And absolutely Sioneve – being a Dad should and does involve washing and cooking and spending time with kids – these aren’t exclusively women’s work.

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