Interesting Plane Journey

September 26, 2009 at 9:04 pm (arsehats, bullying, feminism, Giant Babies, idiots, male privilege, personal)

I´m currently killing time in a bus station in Marbella, so figured I´d post an update.  Especially given how neglected my poor blog and readers have been lately.  It´s a pity I have so much luggage and that it´s raining because I´ve heard Marbella is nice to walk around.

So anyway, having an interesting journey on my third trip to Europe since Sept 08.  I´m still trying to work out if the reactions I´m getting are based on my age or my gender, but I´m trying not to dwell on it.

On the plane ride between Milan and Malaga I had quite a typical specimen sitting behind me.  He was a white, middle aged man (obviously from the ´he´) using a laptop, so presumably important in some way, even if only in his own head.  And he was definitely important in his own head.  The flight attendants were some of the nicest I´ve encountered so far (and I´ve been on a lot of flights…); unexpected given I was flying with a discount airline.*

The woman next to me appeared to be slightly older than middle aged and was travelling with a four year old girl.  She didn´t speak English or Italian (she was Romanian fwiw), and it appeared to be her first flight from her reactions to various things.  I helped her, as best I could through the language barrier, to put on the seatbelts and follow the basic instructions of the staff.  When the food cart came along, she attempted to purchase a hot chocolate for the little girl, but only had a 50 euro note on her.  Now I don´t know what the hell is the issue on this continent, but they will very rarely accept such a large denomination for anything, and when they do it´s always with lots of sighing and pointed looks at all the extra work you´re giving them.  This woman had nothing smaller than a 50 and could not understand the attendants, although they did try switching languages for her, and even attempted Spanish.  At this point I checked my wallet and took out enough money for her hot chocolate and my coffee.  It seemed to be the easiest course of action, and also felt like the right thing to do.  As someone who travels quite frequently, and often alone, I´m grateful for every little bit of help I receive from strangers, whether it´s directions, help with my luggage (it´s so heavy!  and there are so many stairs! everywhere!), or whatever.  So I helped her out because I could.  I only include this part of the story because when I was reflecting on the second part it struck me as twice as ridiculous given this part.

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Very Quick, Minor Follow Ups

September 3, 2009 at 9:33 pm (doctors, personal)

Some things to say:

firstly – to everyone who is finding this blog through searches about controlling men – a better resource is ‘Why Does He Do That?“, but I hope my post is of some help to some of you at least.

secondly – to the reader who asked google “how to date a controling man” and ended up here (if you’re still reading), the answer is you don’t.  Get rid of him and find someone who isn’t a controlling arse.  Or be happy on your own.  Either way.

thirdly – to the reader who asked google “is it rape when i said no and was drunk?”  YES IT IS.  and it breaks my heart that you have to ask google this question.  I blame the patriarchy that such a thing was necessary.  Similarly, “is it rape if you don’t say yes?” YES IT IS.  I hope you’re both still here somewhere.

fourthly – to the person who googled “fuck and rape” to end up here…. wtf?  No, seriously, wtf?

I know it’s been awhile since I posted, but that happens.  Regularly around here actually.  I’m still seeing coffeeguy, who shall now be called C, and I’m enjoying that.  Except for a few minor issues I may or may not explore later.  I’m going to Italy and Spain (and Gib!) soon, and have too much to do in the meantime.  And the depression is getting worse.  The doctor has prescribed anti depressants to start after my trip, and I think the thought of taking them is making the depression worse.  I hate that I’m so weak I need help to get through this.  But there you have it.  In a nutshell, the updates on my life.  More (possibly) to follow.

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The Juiciest Gazelle is the Easiest to Catch*

September 3, 2009 at 9:26 pm (arsehats, Dating, feminism, Giant Babies, idiots, male privilege, men hate you, personal)

My cousin (we’ll call her S) is breaking my heart.  She is twenty four and has a lot going for her.  Except for her dickhead boyfriend.  He is not something good in her life and it hurts when I think of the situation she’s currently in.

I recently found out that he has previously cheated on her four times.  That’s with four different people for those wanting the clarification.  After this revelation (and it’s kinda telling that she hid this from us), she found out he had a mobile phone that he was hiding from her and, when she found it, he spent a long time trying to delete as many messages as he could before she saw them.  He’s slept with at least two more women (as well as the other four) and has stopped short off sleeping with others.  When all of this came to light, she dumped him.  She didn’t kick him out of her house, or even our of her bed, but they were apparently broken up.  And he was saying things like “I have nothing to live for without you” and “At work today I was on the 42nd floor and realised how easy it would be to unclip my harness”.  Given past events, his comments are way out of line and unacceptable.  I would dump him for that part alone.  He also told her that the only reason they’re not together anymore is because she won’t forgive him.**

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