Glass Half Full

October 7, 2010 at 10:48 pm (cliches)

I’m not a positive person.  I am a smiley, bubbly, mostly cheerful person.  I’m also a total stresshead with no patience and very low tolerance for getting treated like crap.

The thing is, if I’m telling a story, or venting, or trying to get something off my chest, and your response is ‘try to see the positive side’, or ‘be a glass half full person’ or anything along those lines, you are Missing The Point.

I KNOW what the positives are.  If I’ve had one bad day at work, I’m still aware of all the good things about my job.  If we’re coming up with a list of reasons to stay vs reasons to leave, awesome.  But if I just need to vent, your positivity does not help.  It’s frustrating, annoying and makes me want to punch you in the head.

This has come up a number of times recently, mostly with boys.  I can’t stand it.  And if you really do go through life only looking at positive things, I cannot even begin to imagine how you get anything done.  Or how you don’t just walk around in constant disappointment all day.  At least when I walk into a situation, I’m aware of the good and the bad, and I’m not focusing on either.  Just weighing it all up to see what’s going on.

So, positive people?  Just stop please.

Same with anyone who says ‘agree to disagree’.  Do not want to hear that anymore either.


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Scared or Just Not Interested?

October 5, 2010 at 10:46 pm (Dating, personal)

How do you tell the difference?  I’m stuck, and in exactly the same position I end up in quite often.

I date two types of guys, deadset, downright arsehats and really really over the top nice guys.  Not Nice Guys ™, but actually genuinely nice guys.  Two very big extremes, I have issues with middle grounds.  It’s true, ask my psych 🙂

About six weeks ago I started dating a guy that was kind, considerate, fairly smart, funny and could mostly keep up with me.  And by the third date I was over it.  Or, at least I thought I was.  So I let him know I wasn’t interested and I walked away.
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Link Love

October 2, 2010 at 1:59 pm (feminism, male privilege, Rapists)

I love this post so much I want to print it out and stick it to my wall.  All of my walls.  And hand it out to people I meet on the street.

Read it.

Then stop it.

Then share it.

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The Blame Game

October 2, 2010 at 1:52 pm (abuse, arsehats, bullying, Dating, feminism, office, personal, Rapists)

A few years ago I followed a link and read this by Andrea Dworkin. I was upset and confused about such a strong feminist choosing not to report such a horrible thing to the police. I didn’t understand. And I felt it was my right to judge her, and all of her feminist acts, based on this one thing. I was very, very wrong.

These days though, I get it. I have never been raped (to my knowledge), but I have been in bad situations and haven’t reported any of them to authorities. I won’t report him for drugging me. I won’t report him to HR for causing my work life to be increasingly uncomfortable just because we had a bad date. I didn’t report my previous employer for the harassment and subsequent victimisation they put me through, even though it led to me quitting with no job lined up. And those are only the recent examples. I have a long history of not reporting things, and I feel this will continue far into my future (assuming of course that these horrible events keep occuring to me).

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