The 30th Down Under Feminists Carnival is up over at Fat Lot of Good and is overrun with awesome reads. Go check it out.
I have a new job since last time I was posting (and I’ve moved twice – not the most stable person in the world), and some people at my new job are certainly proving to be interesting…
My supervisor went home sick last week because she was throwing up uncontrollably. About an hour after she left, the woman who sits next to me said she was jealous of the lucky b*tch because of how much weight she’d lose from throwing up. I surely thought she was kidding and asked as much and for my efforts I received a lecture about how much weight she’d gained since quitting smoking.
So to recap, a fifty plus woman at work* quit smoking for health reasons, gained weight, and is now jealous every time someone else gets sick enough they start throwing up and can’t eat.
What on earth is wrong with society???
*I mention the age because by the patriarchy rules, she’s past her ‘use by’ date and therefore her looks don’t matter anymore. It’s not how I think, I’m trying to use their mindset for a minute.
There is no option of being authentic; the masks are there for a reason, and should be left there. Occasionally you get tricked into taking them off, and you learn your lesson all over again.
A friend tells you there is nothing you could possibly do to make her sick of you; no act that would make her pull back, shut down, walk away. And you look into her eyes and you believe her and you let yourself take the mask off for her. And you depend on her and rely on her and trust her and become closer than you have to most people in a long time. And three months later she says she needs space and time apart, and she shuts down and pulls back. And the mask is in your hand, useless, not on your face, protecting.
This is terribly cliched, but I couldn’t resist a post on the terms that are leading people here. It’s fascinating!*
So there’s a lot of search terms involving words like ‘hormones’ ‘birth control’ and ‘hair’ and any combination thereof. Those haven’t slowed down much, even with my lack of posts on the subject recently. It’s amazing how little information there must be out there if people are coming here for it. That worries me.
Interestingly, someone got here by searching for ‘anti-children’. I do hate kids, but I didn’t think I’d written that anywhere here? Maybe my attitude just comes through in what I say. Other searches in the random category: “beer bottle in mouth”, “guys hate shopping”, “beautiful forum” and “defensive response” — the last one was a result from before my recent post on my defensive responses, which is the random part.
The first t-shirt post gained a lot of views by people who were clearly looking for that exact tshirt, for whatever reason. Various combinations of “overheard conversations” and “office” repeated themselves a few times, and I’m tempted to post a few more randomly overheard conversations. I know personally I love reading snippets of these on other people’s blogs, so maybe I’m not as random and weird as I thought I was? Also, have had people searching “radical feminism theory” and ending up here – not good given I don’t discuss it at all. Maybe I should throw up a few links to direct them onwards to more intelligent blogs? I’d hate someone to miss out on an education because I’m not particularly into writing about the theory heavy stuff!
And the worrying searches: the number of people searching on some variation of “trapped in a relationship”, “controlling men”, and even one that said “kiss me if i did what he wanted controll” concerns me. I hope these are search terms of people with a vague passing interest in the topic. My imaginary happy place does not need to know that people out there are facing these problems for real. My practical side has a few link round up posts planned to direct the readers with real problems on to sources that can actually help them.
The final term of interest, and my personal favourite, was “man hate”. You’re damn straight I have some man hate going on. They make me bitter.
I’ve done some major renovations on my blogroll list. Incidentally, if any of you know why my right column has decided to hide at the bottom of the page and not the side, please let me know. I can’t fix it with the knowledge I have because WordPress does not allow for much fiddling.
If you’ve linked to me on your site, please let me know and I’ll add your blog too. I haven’t left you out on purpose or because I’m horrible, just because I’m busy and stressed and overlook things sometimes.
Is coming! I promise! I’ve been delayed at this point, but it will be up asap. And I’m sorry for the delay. Very very sorry.
Free frozen margarita’s for everyone stuck waiting.
I miss you. I hope you get what you need from your break, and I understand why you’re taking it, but I miss you 😦
good luck and hopefully you’ll be back soon so I don’t have to go without talking to you for too much longer!
To all my other readers, I’m slowly starting to not be so absorbed by depression. I will be back soon I promise.
Nobody commented, so I’m posting more photos because it’s my blog and I can.
Read the rest of this entry »
Everytime I try to write out a post, I can’t think about one thing long enough to finish it. It’s bad timing because the Down Under Feminists Carnival is sending lots of new readers my way, but I can’t concentrate long enough to post anything worthy.
Quick update: the relationship is no longer on a break, it’s officially broken.
And I’ve stopped in the middle of writing this eight times, so I’m just posting as is.
Continue to send in March nominations for the DUFC, and one day I’ll feel like writing again.
When I was a little girl, I got almost straight A’s. I was quite the little achiever at school, with little to no effort (luckily because I wasn’t interested in applying myself). My brother was lucky to get C’s, and when he got anything higher than that, he received praise and congratulations and rewards. I got shit all for my great grades, so I started doing my own thing and trying to get attention in other ways. I remember once in high school, my mum spent all afternoon hounding my brother about whether he’d skipped school that day and he kept saying he hadn’t (he truly hadn’t). Meanwhile, I sat in the background saying “I skipped school today. I went to x place. I hung out with (friend)’. I was telling the truth, but my mum just laughed it off and went back to my brother. So I became this loud, talkative, attention seeker you’ve all come to read regularly.
Anyway, the relevance of all this is a thought I had today. Sometimes when unexpected people do small women/feminist friendly things, I give them cookies. Sometimes when people do big things, I don’t give them any cookies at all. And it got me thinking, what should we be giving cookies for? The depression and weight of being a female in a patriarchy is often so heavy upon my shoulders that I want to applaud anyone for doing anything remotely subversive. Other times I wonder if we’re ever going to get anywhere with faint hearted bullshit. Why should we meekly accept the crumbs they toss out (they’re not throwing them our way, they’re throwing them out, trust me.)?? Why should we content ourselves with this shit when we should be pushing for bigger and better? At what point do we stand up and say, no, near enough is NOT good enough.
If you believe it, it was a Beyonce song that made me think of this. Her ‘put a ring on it’ or whatever the hell it’s called. The verses are halfway to being blamey, and then she says ‘if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it’. Argh. And she’s so p approved. But she’s a woman, making a successful career. With some halfway blamey lyrics. So, cookies or not? Do we decide that, this is it. No more cookies for half arsed shit. Either treat us like human beings or fuck off. Or do we keep rewarding the little things in the hopes that they grow to bigger things? And so that the ones doing the little things are encouraged to continue?