Holiday Photos
This post is inspired by roughseasinthemed. Her posts always make me jealous, but now I have some gorgeous photos of mine to make other people jealous. These are from Sweden, but if wanted I can add the Germany/Rome photos later. Below the fold, image heavy (obviously)
Breaking an Addiction
Recently I have been trying to break an addiction. It’s damn hard.
I’m not talking about drugs, smoking, drinking or anything overly dangerous along those lines.
I’m talking about a little everyday addiction. Everyone has them, and mostly they’re ok. I used to be addicted to reading in a very severe way and you would never find me without a book. If I wasn’t reading, I was itching to pick up my book. This of course interfered with many areas of my life and made it hard to be successful at things requiring concentration on something other than reading. I’ve managed to break this habit, but not through any concerted effort. It’s more something that just fell away over time as I became busy with other things and started enjoying myself.
So clearly the lesson from that is to fill up my spare time and I’ll easily be able to overcome my addiction to the activity I’m trying to battle. The problem is when I actively make the effort to do this I end up binge drinking, or smoking, or both. Not healthy. It’s also that old catch 22, where the harder you try to not think about something, the more it is the only thing you can think about.
Anyway, I have taken active steps in combating this. I’ve removed any easy access I had to indulging in the temptation and I’ve resolved to be as strong as possible. It’s not going to help. But I’m trying as hard as I damn well can to fight this and be sane again.
Any tips?
Feminism and ‘The Other Woman’
I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot recently, and I’m genuinely conflicted about it. There’s not a lot of posts out there on feminist websites about this, but there sure is a lot on anti women sites. Apparently, and I must say I was not surprised at this, it’s all the mistress’ fault when a man cheats on his wife.
I’m personally a bit conflicted about how being the other woman meshes with feminism, but I’d never go the extent of blaming either woman. Both have made choices based on the limited options open to them as women in this society. Any male who excuses his cheating because of any behaviour on his wife’s part is not worth the time. If men aren’t going to own up to what they’re doing, they’re not worth the time. The mistress herself also has to choose between different options, and it’s not always as easy as it would seem from the outside. At the end of the day, the only person who is 100% in the wrong is the husband who cheats.
However, as I mentioned in an earlier post, I don’t agree with the way society dictates how a relationship should work and which relationships are ‘valid’ or ‘right’. I do believe it is perfectly possible to sleep with someone else and still maintain a healthy, stable relationship with your partner. It’s usually the lying that kills everything.
But beyond all of that, is it actually feminist to sleep with a married man? And if the act itself is not feminist, as I doubt it is, is it necessarily anti feminist? Is it possible to ‘keep your radfem card’ whilst knowingly betraying another woman? We’re not going to win any revolutions by stepping on each others toes, and we’re certainly not going to win equal rights from the bedroom, of married men or otherwise.
Now I have focused on heterosexual relationships in this post, mostly because I’m talking about a legally binding contract that is not yet available to same sex couples, however in places where same sex unions are legal, the same things would apply.
And one final thought from all of this jumble, where is the line? Is cheating on a wife the same as cheating on a long term, live-in partner? Is that the same as cheating on a long term, non live-in partner? On the reverse, is sleeping with a married man the same as sleeping with someone in a long term, committed relationship?
I know I have more readers than commenters, but if anyone reading has anything to say, I’m actually interested in a discussion about this. But, for the record, any nasty, personal attacks will be deleted. This is not the place to be angry about personal experiences with this sort of thing and I won’t tolerate insults here. I mention this based on the comments that have popped up on other websites.
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday. You know who you are. Hope it’s an awesome day 🙂
right on: white america
I hate to cheat and use a poem in place of a post, but I have nothing to add to this. I studied it for uni last semester and liked it.
right on: white america
©1970 Sonia Sanchez
this country might have
been a pio
neer land
once.
but. there ain’t
no mo
indians blowing
custer’s mind
with a different
image of america.
this country
might have
needed shoot/
outs/daily/
once.
but. there ain’t
no mo real/white/ allamerican
bad/guys.
just.
u & me.
blk/and un/armed.
this country might have
been a pion
eer land. once.
and it still is.
check out
the falling
gun/shells on our blk/tomorrows.
Trapped in a relationship 2
I’ve been perusing my sitemeter for Google terms, and I’ve noticed a disturbing number of people who get here from searching various forms of ‘trapped in a relationship’.
Two options here. Either it’s quite an interesting topic to read up on, OR there’s a huge number of people actually trapped in relationships. This is worrying to me.
The way our society is structured, it is way too easy to end up stuck with a partner you wouldn’t otherwise be with. I can’t help anyone in any real way, but the comment thread is there if you want to talk (anonymously or otherwise).
I hope the people who end up here find a way to sort out their problems. And I’ll keep doing my best to bring about the revolution to make it easier for people to get away from douchebags.
Update on what’s happening here
UPDATE: I’ve now made the majority of my posts public. However, posts about co-workers, birth control, Nigel woes, medical issues etc, will remain private for at least another week. In February I’ll reassess where I stand and what I want public.
ORIGINAL POST:
Silence for a few months, then all my posts disappear.
Not long after returning from my first trip to Europe in September, Nigel went looking for, and found, my blog. Besides all other issues this raised between us, it left me feeling unmotivated to post.
Recently I’ve started to feel the motivation rising again. However, another entitled male in my life went hunting for this and has appeared to found it.
I may start another blog one day. I may continue this one. I WILL continue posting on the forums that led me to blogging. Those are at least safe from prying eyes, one is almost entirely safe from MALE eyes.
Until I decide what to do, everything’s private. Invites can be applied for by emailing me, contacting me on any forum you’ve met me on, or posting in the comments on this post.
Beyond that, I hope the men in my life are happy. It sure makes me feel good about keeping them around. /sarcasm
Inside Joke
I hope you didn’t find this.
Apologies to regular readers. More information to follow at a later date
Pretty and Peaceful
Jim Warren’s pictures make me happy. I also feel kind of peaceful whilst looking at them. The only reservation I have is that he seems to draw blonde women/girls more than males. Slightly disturbing in context of the patriarchy, but it’s possible it’s innocent. I just highly doubt it.
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