New Reasons To Be Bitter Everyday

March 18, 2012 at 11:39 pm (Giant Babies, idiots, personal)

What is going on?  A post from whyimbitter?  WHAT?!  She still exists?  What is happening here?!

My dear readers, I have been happy lately.  I know some of you may need a minute to breathe after that sentence, but I must push on.  It is well past my bedtime now, and I have to get the anger out before I hit the sack.

These days I have a job I actually enjoy, excel at and am challenged by enough to be happy.  I am not in collections anymore and the change has been wonderful for my mental health.  I haven’t been on meds in about six months and I’m doing really well.

And the key ingredient in the life makeover: the new relationship.  Or not so new, given it’s six months for us next Saturday.  Who knew that being with someone who treats you well, loves you, and isn’t a total douchebag would be so wonderful?  And why didn’t they tell me if they knew so much?

So, what on Earth could possibly be making me bitter these days, with so much happiness and fairies and unicorns and rainbows in my life?  The not quite ex wife is the million dollar answer on that one.

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Links Round Up: To Continue A Theme

September 30, 2011 at 5:37 pm (arsehats, Dating, feminism, Giant Babies, idiots, men hate you)

Following on from my Nice Guy posts, here are some people who write better than I do:

lemonadeandlemoncake at Iced Tea and Lemon Cake has Feminism 101 – Nice Guy Syndrome

Jeff Fecke at Shakesville has Explainer: What is a “Nice Guy?”

Jill at Feministe has I’ll take voting rights over a knight in shining armor, thanks.

tigtog dealt with it nicely at Finally, A Feminism 101 Blog in Frequently Whimpered Whines: The Nice Guys™ theme song

the ex-expat at The Hand Mirror has The nice guy (TM)

There’s a collection of awesome at Heartless Bitches

A comic here


Can anyone guess what I’ve spent all day at work doing?



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They’re Just Not That Nice

September 30, 2011 at 2:53 pm (arsehats, cliches, feminism, Giant Babies, idiots, men hate you, personal)

These final two scenarios are long and tied up together, so I’m making them a separate post to the first one.  It’s not just because I like extra hits on my blog, I swear 🙂

Nice Guy Scenario 3; Douchebag.  Not a very original nickname, granted, but I find it appropriate.  And in this situation, more than in any of the others, I should have known better.  I really really should have.  But that’s ok, live and learn, onwards and upwards, blah blah etc etc.

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Nice Guy Infestation

September 29, 2011 at 5:22 pm (arsehats, Dating, Giant Babies, idiots, personal)

A Nice Guy infestation is spreading through my life like a zombie outbreak.  Only nowhere near as cool.  I wish I was in a zombie apocalypse and could smash heads in with sledgehammers.  That would be way cool, especially compared to … this.  I have four examples for you, dear readers, just from the last couple of weeks of my life.  (And on a sidenote, aren’t you all lucky I chose to stop wasting my time with these dickwads, and start blogging again?  Much better use of this precious resource, I think).

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Interesting Plane Journey

September 26, 2009 at 9:04 pm (arsehats, bullying, feminism, Giant Babies, idiots, male privilege, personal)

I´m currently killing time in a bus station in Marbella, so figured I´d post an update.  Especially given how neglected my poor blog and readers have been lately.  It´s a pity I have so much luggage and that it´s raining because I´ve heard Marbella is nice to walk around.

So anyway, having an interesting journey on my third trip to Europe since Sept 08.  I´m still trying to work out if the reactions I´m getting are based on my age or my gender, but I´m trying not to dwell on it.

On the plane ride between Milan and Malaga I had quite a typical specimen sitting behind me.  He was a white, middle aged man (obviously from the ´he´) using a laptop, so presumably important in some way, even if only in his own head.  And he was definitely important in his own head.  The flight attendants were some of the nicest I´ve encountered so far (and I´ve been on a lot of flights…); unexpected given I was flying with a discount airline.*

The woman next to me appeared to be slightly older than middle aged and was travelling with a four year old girl.  She didn´t speak English or Italian (she was Romanian fwiw), and it appeared to be her first flight from her reactions to various things.  I helped her, as best I could through the language barrier, to put on the seatbelts and follow the basic instructions of the staff.  When the food cart came along, she attempted to purchase a hot chocolate for the little girl, but only had a 50 euro note on her.  Now I don´t know what the hell is the issue on this continent, but they will very rarely accept such a large denomination for anything, and when they do it´s always with lots of sighing and pointed looks at all the extra work you´re giving them.  This woman had nothing smaller than a 50 and could not understand the attendants, although they did try switching languages for her, and even attempted Spanish.  At this point I checked my wallet and took out enough money for her hot chocolate and my coffee.  It seemed to be the easiest course of action, and also felt like the right thing to do.  As someone who travels quite frequently, and often alone, I´m grateful for every little bit of help I receive from strangers, whether it´s directions, help with my luggage (it´s so heavy!  and there are so many stairs! everywhere!), or whatever.  So I helped her out because I could.  I only include this part of the story because when I was reflecting on the second part it struck me as twice as ridiculous given this part.

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The Juiciest Gazelle is the Easiest to Catch*

September 3, 2009 at 9:26 pm (arsehats, Dating, feminism, Giant Babies, idiots, male privilege, men hate you, personal)

My cousin (we’ll call her S) is breaking my heart.  She is twenty four and has a lot going for her.  Except for her dickhead boyfriend.  He is not something good in her life and it hurts when I think of the situation she’s currently in.

I recently found out that he has previously cheated on her four times.  That’s with four different people for those wanting the clarification.  After this revelation (and it’s kinda telling that she hid this from us), she found out he had a mobile phone that he was hiding from her and, when she found it, he spent a long time trying to delete as many messages as he could before she saw them.  He’s slept with at least two more women (as well as the other four) and has stopped short off sleeping with others.  When all of this came to light, she dumped him.  She didn’t kick him out of her house, or even our of her bed, but they were apparently broken up.  And he was saying things like “I have nothing to live for without you” and “At work today I was on the 42nd floor and realised how easy it would be to unclip my harness”.  Given past events, his comments are way out of line and unacceptable.  I would dump him for that part alone.  He also told her that the only reason they’re not together anymore is because she won’t forgive him.**

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Memo to Fathers of the World

August 14, 2009 at 8:02 pm (Giant Babies, male privilege, overheard conversations)

Dear Fathers,

When you are looking after your kids, you are NOT baby sitting til your partner gets home.  THEY ARE YOUR KIDS.  Baby sitting is an activity engaged in by people who are not the primary caregivers.

No, seriously, listen to me.  If you are watching the kids and you see yourself as baby sitting, you have a BIG issue that needs to be solved.  As their father you should be one of the primary caregivers.  And you should see yourself that way.  And looking after them?  Shouldn’t be a temporary thing to give their mum a break, or time to do errands, or whatever other reason you have.

So, no more.  You are not baby sitters.  You are parents.



PS. I hate adding these damn things, but I seem to have a lot of anti feminists over here these days, so here goes:

If you’re a father that doesn’t see looking after the kids as baby sitting, this post is not directed at you.  Do not take offence, do not send me emails, I don’t care.

If you’re a person who has heard mothers use the same phrase and are about to get up in arms about this post being directed at fathers only, go start your own damn blog and direct something at those mothers.  This post (like 90% of the blog) is inspired by my personal experience and this is what I wanted to say.  And mothers cop enough shit off everyone to not get it in my space.

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Is It Worth It? An End to the Whole Saga

July 15, 2009 at 4:30 pm (arsehats, bullying, Dating, Giant Babies, men hate you, personal)

I cannot believe how complicated and petty this whole thing got.  When I look back on my first date with plateboy, I want to shake my younger self and tell her to just avoid it.  At all costs.  ARGH.

But anyway, I will blog the end of it, then shut the door on the whole sorry tale and learn my lessons for next time.  Although at this point it feels like the lesson is ‘men aren’t worth it’.

So after my last attempt to pick up my stuff ended in pettiness, I was fairly pissed off.  I managed to get hold of plateboy by calling from a private number and he once again pretended he hadn’t received any of my messages and that it was all a misunderstanding, except this time I said no.  I just wanted to organise to get my stuff back.  His phone cut out before anything could be organised and he was uncontactable for the rest of the weekend, and again ignored my messages.

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Don’t Feed the Trolls

July 14, 2009 at 7:02 pm (arsehats, Dating, feminism, Giant Babies, men hate you, Rapists)

In some of my recent researching, I’ve stumbled across and absolutely love it.  Not every single article is perfect, or stands up to feminist scrutiny, however overall it’s pretty damn awesome.

Now, I know it’s usually considered bad form to respond to a poster on a different site, but given the vile contents of these comments, I’m doing it anyway.

On a post about alternatives to intercourse, ‘Bat Leaper’ came out of the murky swamp where all mras and trolls like to spend their days and had this to say:

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This Shit Just Got Petty

July 2, 2009 at 4:32 pm (arsehats, Dating, Giant Babies, idiots, personal)

Well after the events in this post, I was left confused.  I tried calling him on Monday morning and he was busy, so we left it.

I sent him a message telling him to let me know when a good time to call would be and he replied to say sounds good.  Twice that day I made suggestions for a next time to see him and got no reply.  By Tuesday night, 24 hours after the second and final suggestion, I decided that even if he wasn’t done with this*, I was.  Way too much effort, not enough of a payoff, and to be honest, I don’t particularly like him all that much.

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