The Job Market and Women
Recently a recruitment company contacted me and asked if I’m looking for a new job. As it turns out, I’m not. I’m also not 100% happy in my new job so I decided to apply to get the practice and see what they were offering.
In my interview confirmation email, a pamphlet on dressing for success was included. Here’s some of the gems of advice I was offered:
“Women who wear make-up earn 23% more than those who donʼt, according to research. Lipstick is a bare essential”
“At a minimum your dress for success wardrobe should include: A well-fitting skirt suit, an elegant
top or a smart shirt, pantyhose, leather bag, nice folder, quality pen, simple accessories & court shoes.”
“If your hair is not right, you wonʼt look your best regardless how hard you try. Find the style that works for you. If you are young & fun, keep it neat. Over 40? Keep it short.”
“Always wear pantyhose even in summer.”
“Accessories are important in finishing off the look. Remember though anything that dangles, moves or distracts attention in any other way is not appropriate. Less is more!”
“You can tell a professional by her hands. Visit a manicure salon or do your own. The devil is in the detail.”
“The more skin you show, the cheaper your look. Beware of plunging necklines, open-toe shoes, bare shoulders and exposed midriffs. If your skirt length is two fingers above the knee, leave it for the night club.”
Those tips are out of this world. Lipstick is a BARE ESSENTIAL? In what universe is LIPSTICK an ESSENTIAL?! And manicured nails for a job interview? Seriously? I don’t think I want to work for a company that thinks this shit is a necessary part of looking presentable for a female. And unfortunately there’s no way for me to decipher if these instructions are from the recruitment company or the company I’m interviewing for.
I wonder what kind of tips they send to teh menz?
Inside Joke
I hope you didn’t find this.
Apologies to regular readers. More information to follow at a later date
Dating in High School
One of the problems I’m finding with breaking up from a 5 year relationship at the age of 21 is that last time I was dating, I was 16. 16!! Do you have any idea how big the differences are between dating at 16 and dating at 21? And flirting? BIG difference.
I know in the grand scheme of things this is a pretty minor problem to have. I get it. I’m just saying.
And honestly, going through that does he or doesn’t he crap is ridiculous. I get the feeling I’m never going to have a relationship again simply because I can’t be bothered. I don’t have time for games, I don’t have time to practice the typical femininity rituals that seem to go hand in hand with dating, and I refuse to date any arsehat who is not at the very least a feminist ally. I don’t have time to *convince* the “nice guys” that feminism is something they should be a part of.
So where does that leave me readers? Well at this point it leaves me in limbo, because I have yet to actually dump Nigel. And actually, it kind of leaves me in a bad spot, as I’ve already started flirting and doing things you shouldn’t do when you’re in a relationship with another person. BUT, eventually, it will leave me single for a very long time.
I’m pretty happy not to be in a serious relationship again for a few years at the very least, but the occasional fling might be nice.
Now if I could just stop the flirting and actually get my act together on the moving out/leaving Nigel thing, I might be able to start working on the dating at 21 instead of 16 thing.
Names
My name is one that society deems as a “female” one. However, it can, and is, shortened to one that is commonly deemed to be a “male” one. On everything at work I’m labeled with the shortened name. It has become my name in a way as people rarely use the longer one. I rarely use it myself.
But why does that mean everyone assumes I’m male? The number of emails I get that say “hi boys”, Mr [last name], or something along those lines is huge. Worse is when I’m away from work for a day, a customer asks for me, and the other account managers refer to me as a ‘he’. It causes confusion and makes my customers lose faith that their messages are getting passed on and that they’ve called the right place.
Why do people assume? I always try my best to say ‘they’ or ‘your account manager’ to avoid this. Apparently no one else has the same sense.
Moving Day
Is this weekend sometime. Not sure what my internet situation will be like for awhile. I’m hoping to leave my computer behind and use the net connection at Nigel’s house until I have it set up, but this feels like a stupid move. I’m unlikely to want to hang around much once I’ve got my own place.
This relationship is over. Not in a ‘we just had a massive argument and now I’m speaking in anger’ way, or a ‘I’m so upset and I don’t know what to do’ way. It’s just over. There’s nothing there.
The plan was to move out but stay together to see if that improves anything. It’s no longer the plan in my mind. I cannot wait for the freedom and independence of moving out. I won’t be living alone, but I also won’t be living with anyone who will try to control what I do. And if my roommate doesn’t stick to a cleaning schedule, arse kicking will ensue.
I have not felt this relieved in five years. Just to use a cliche that is very true, it feels as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I smile more too. 🙂
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